Two Ryuichi and A Kumagorou
by Recode
Summary: Nittle Grasper is scheduled for an interview but Ryuichi has fallen ill! Our 'lovely' Tohma comes up with a brilliant idea: Get Shuichi to pose as Ryuichi! The result? Humorous chaos! [YukixShu- 2 of 3 up!
1. Part 1 of 3

**Title:** Two Ryuichi & A Kumagorou  
**Author:** Angel ( angel at predilection dot org )  
**Website:** www dot predilection dot org  
**LJ:** http:siriusangeldotlivejournaldotcom

**Author's Note:**  
Actually, this is a response to my own **Gravi fic challenge** (code no. 010101). I'm also **inviting all Gravi fan fiction writers** to have a look and maybe take part in the Gravi fic challenge, esp the **Valentine Fic Challenge**. If you're interested, please visit **http:gravity dot predilection dot org**. Replace the dot with the real dot (.), okay? Or you can access the site via my profile This fic is for challenge code 010101:

_Nittle Grasper is scheduled for a live interview on TV Tokyo in three days. The problem is that Ryuichi has fallen ill that he can't even walk! Our manipulative Tohma comes with a brilliant idea: Get Shuichi to disguise as Ryuichi!! So, after two bottles of hair dye, a pair of contact lens, a dotted bandana, three pairs of earrings, ten pieces of bangles, ten rings and a fluffy Kumagorou later, Tohma and Noriko settles for training Shuichi to act like Ryuichi in two days time. And so chaos ensues! How will Yuki react? How does Shuichi fend off Tatsuha? **Include this dialogue:** "Konnichiwa, na no da! Shu -- er -- Ryuichi desu!" Your story must be at least **1000** words in length._

I'm finishing the last chapter of **Snow in July** and the next chapter of **And**** If The Sun Won't Shine…**. I won't abandon them. I love AitSWS too much for that! I'm merely writing this to get rid of the rabid plot bunnies and bring my slump to an end. I'm also running from Angst for a while. You can check my LJ for updates As usual, forgive the errors that come along the way.

Enough talk. On to the story!!

**TWO RYUICHI**** AND A KUMAGOROU**

- Part 1 of 3 -

Shuichi was not sure if he heard it right. Before him, Seguchi Tohma and Ukai Noriko were looking at him, smiling like there was no tomorrow. Beads of sweat started to form on his forehead. The silence was suddenly broken when his mind finally processed what the two members of the famous Nittle Grasper had just told him. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME???!!!" His already wide eyes widened even more as his jaw hung open like a suffocated goldfish. Noriko and Tohma, who were still smiling, shook their heads. "YOU WANT ME TO POSE AS SAKU---UMPH!!" "Syhh!!" Noriko clamped her hand across the bubblegum haired vocalist's mouth while Tohma motioned for him to be quiet using with his index finger. "Not so loud," the president of NG Records whispered. Shuichi blinked twice, looking at the two in disbelief and repeated the whole process again. He allowed himself to be dragged into Tohma's office, where the door was securely locked behind them. For once, Tohma was glad that his office was soundproof.

Shuichi was still lost. He was humming to Bad Luck's new song when Noriko and Tohma approached him with the most ridiculous request he'd ever heard in his entire life. "We want you to pose as Ryuichi for Nittle Grasper's interview with TV Tokyo," they had said in unison without a pause. Snapping out of his reverie, Shuichi found himself being stared at. "Okay, I think I'm calm now. Could you please explain to me as to why you want me to pose as Sakuma-san?" Tohma sighed audibly. He never liked having to explain himself but he was desperate, dammit! "You do know of Ryuichi's obsession with ice cream, don't you, Shindou-san?" Shuichi nodded, clueless as to where this was going. What did Ryuichi's obsession with ice cream had to do with anything?

"Well, Noriko and I bought him his favourite chocolate ice cream, a large box of it, when we visited him yesterday. We ate a little and went home. When Ryuichi wanted to keep the remaining ice cream inside the freezer, the appliance was somehow broken. Desperate to keep it from melting, he set the air conditioner to almost 0° Celsius, which left him freezing like there was no tomorrow. Yet, he found the ice cream still started melting. Ryuichi being Ryuichi, he consumed the whole thing and went to sleep without adjusting the AC to the appropriate level. This morning, when he didn't show up, we went to check on him and found him shivering on the floor. He's running a high fever. The doctor said he is not to leave the bed for a week," Tohma explained, rubbing his suddenly aching temple with his thumb. Noriko continued where the Nittle Grasper keyboardist left off, "The interview is in three days. We've already cancelled the last one and we definitely couldn't afford to miss this one. This is where you come into the picture, Shuichi. You see, you look a lot like Ryuichi. When Tohma came up with this idea, I immediately agreed on it. So…please? Would you please pose as Ryu-chan?"

Shuichi hesitated. He knew he looked a bit like Ryuichi. Tatsuha had told him so the first time they met. But still… "In case you failed to notice, my hair is 'bubblegum pink', not 'chestnut brown'. And I'm shorter than Sakuma-san by five centimetres. And my voice… You sure you want ME to pose as the great Sakuma Ryuichi?" Tohma and Noriko nodded a bit too enthusiastically for their normal expression. "Don't worry about your hair. I already bought THESE!" Noriko shoved two boxes of hair dye the colour of Ryuichi's hair, and a piece of red, dotted bandana. Shuichi gulped. Did they think he was going to agree to this? "And we also have these," Tohma put a large storage box onto his huge table, smiling all the while. Shuichi gaped as he peered at the content of the pink box. There were three pairs of fake earrings, a black leather jacket, a pair of tight black leather pants, a blue shirt a box of bluish-purple contact lens, ten pieces of bangles, ten golden rings and… KUMAGOROU?? Did they REALLY think he was going to agree?

"Anou… I don't think this is a good idea," he started. "Me posing as Sakuma-san will make me feel bad. I mean, what will he think? And…what about Yuki? He's going to be so mad!" Shuichi shuddered as he imagined kissing his lover with him looking like Ryuichi. Tohma put a hand on his shoulder to assure him. "Don't worry about it, I'm sure Eiri-san will understand. About Ryuichi, I don't think he'd mind. So, what do you say?" Shuchi still looked doubtful. "I'll give Bad Luck one week off if you agree."

"And free tickets and backstage passes to our next concert," Noriko added.

"As many Strawberry Pocky as you like."

"Limited edition Nittle Grasper wall scroll with our signatures and a hand-painted figurine of Ryuichi."

"And the very first copy of our new upcoming CD, signed by the three of us especially for you."

Shuichi's eyes glowed with renewed brilliance. He nearly shouted his answer to the two of them, which was "IT'S A DEAL!!!" And so the next few hours was filled with:

"Noriko-san! There's hair dye on my face!"

and

"Ouch, my eyes! Grrr, I hate contact lenses!"

and

"The pant is too tight, Seguchi-san!"

and

"These damn fake earrings keep falling off!"

and so on…

Two hours later, Shuichi found himself gaping at his reflection in the mirror. There was no flaw; he looked exactly like the man he idolized. Noriko and Tohma smiled smugly at their _masterpiece_. For the final kill, Noriko shoved the pink, fluffy stuff bunny into Shuichi's arms. "We'll be training you to act exactly like Ryuichi until the interview, okay? Now we'll start from the basic. Say, 'na no da'."

"Na no da..."

"No, no, no! You must sound like Ryu-chan. Try again. Let yourself sound as cheerful as you can."

"Na no da!!"

"Good, it's almost perfect! Now, say 'na no na no na no da'."

"Na no na no na no da!"

"Again," Tohma instructed.

"Na no na no na no da!!"

"A bit more cheerful, please. Try again."

"NA NO NA NO NA NO DAAA!!!"

Noriko clapped her hands in satisfaction. "That's good. You still need to practise on that later, though. Now, let's get Kumagorou into the picture…" Shuichi groaned with frustration. This was torture, he thought. He regretted having succumbed to their bribery. Well, he agreed to this and he needed to do his best. He couldn't let his idol's image down during the interview. '_What have I gotten myself into?_'

When K, Sakano, Hiro and Suguru were informed of this ordeal by Tohma himself later that day, they laughed themselves to death…well, literally. Suguru and Hiro were quite awed by Shuichi's 'new' appearance'. If Tohma had not explained everything, they would have thought he was the real Ryuichi. K laughed for the whole day as he saw Kumagorou perched on Shuichi's head. "Idiots are really meant to be vocalists," he said. Shuichi glared daggers at his manager, shouting, "Oi! No one insults Sakuma Ryuichi in front of me, na no da!"

Wait a minute… NA NO DA???

Oops! A slip of the tongue… With that, the rest of them laughed even harder, much to Shuichi's exasperation. Tiredness began to take its toll on him. Tohma and Noriko made him sing Sleepless Beauty five times that day. Upon the year, Shuichi's vocal had become as powerful as that of Ryuichi. Bad Luck even managed to knock Nittle Grasper down the chart already. The public thought they were rivals but in truth, they truly enjoy each other's company. Ryuichi would get so excited whenever he got to sing with Shuichi and vice versa. Both of them would get all bouncy, giggly and annoying or in K's words, "Eternal idiots." Shuichi stumbled into the living room and collapsed onto the sofa, throwing his sling bag onto the floor and sending its content scattered on the floor. "Tadaima!" He attempted to shout, but only managed to sound a little louder than his normal conversational tone.

It wasn't long before Yuki Eiri emerged from his office to greet his lover. "Okaeri, Shu. You're quite late and - - - Oi! What the _fuck_ are you doing in my house, Sakuma?!" Shuichi immediately sat up and rubbed his eyes in a daze. "Huh, Sakuma-san's here? Where?" He looked around but only saw an enraged Yuki. Oh, wait… Shit! He'd forgotten he looked like Ryuichi! No wonder Yuki was mad. The novelist never really enjoyed Ryuichi's company. Personally, Shuichi thought Yuki was jealous. Oh, well… For now, he had an explanation to deliver. "I repeat, what the _fuck_ are you doing in my house, Sakuma? Where's Shuichi?" Eiri demanded and gave Shuichi his trademark deadly glare.

Shuichi sighed heavily. "I am Shindou Shuichi, Yuki. Don't you recognise my voice, koishii?" Yuki raised an eyebrow. He studied the young man's appearance, from top to toe. Shuichi could see the shadows of doubt dancing across his lover's face. "Right… If you're really Shuichi, tell me something that only Shuichi knows." Shuichi grinned. His tiredness somehow disappeared into thin air like magic. "You sleep on your stomach because your ears are so overly sensitive and ticklish?" A faint blush crept onto the novelist's cheeks. The blush was gone and quickly replaced by a look of disbelief. "You're really Shuichi? What the hell happened to you? Why do you look like Sakuma Ryuichi?"

"Blame Seguchi-san if you want. It was originally his idea."

Yuki merely cocked and eyebrow, which Shuichi interpreted as a silent 'Explain that!'. And explain, Shuichi did. At most part, Yuki even snickered. His eyes held an amused expression but he was still mad – at Shuichi for being stupid enough to let himself be manipulated – and at Tohma for being so…so…So Tohma-tic! "…and that's what happened. Ne, Yuki… You're not still mad, are you?" Shuichi was close enough to tears as he rolled up the entire account. Yuki rolled his eyes as his lover sniffed and launched himself onto the novelist's arms. "Get off me, baka! As much as I love you, the prospect of being intimate with Sakuma Ryuichi never crossed my mind."

But Shuichi did not hear the 'being intimate' part. "YOU LOVE ME?? YUUUKIII!! I LOVE YOU!!" He proceeded to kiss Yuki with joy. Yuki was annoyed at first but what the hell! He might look like Ryuichi but he was still his whiny, over-sensitive Shu-chan. Ah, well… Yuki returned the kiss just as eagerly, their tongues fighting for domination in which Yuki was winning. One of his hands held Shuichi's head to deepen the kiss while the other was trying to get rid of the younger man's clothing. Just when everything was getting a lot hotter…

"ANIKI, YOU BASTARD!!! HOW DARE YOUUUUUUU?!!!"

The windows rattled at the force of the scream. A few metres away, an enraged Uesugi Tatsuha was screaming like a mad man. Shuichi could make out a few words like 'no', 'fucking cheater', 'my darling Ryuichi' and 'dirty wanker'. Definitely not the words a monk should utter. He could only watch as the teen tackled Yuki to the floor and shook his elder brother senseless. "Get off me, Tatsuha!!" "Shut up! Shut up! How dare you cheat on Shuichi? With MY Ryuichi, no less! Have you no shame, aniki? I thought you've changed, for God's sake! How could you?!"

Yuki pushed the now sobbing Tatsuha off of him and stood beside Shuichi. Darn! They were going to have to explain everything to Tatsuha. Otherwise, he would bawl and whine and yell to the next day and the day after the next day.

How the hell did he get into their apartment, by the way??

- To Be Continued in Part 2 -

Okay, that was fun! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Comments are very much welcomed (and needed). C'mon, don't let me talk to myself Also, don't forget to check out my Gravi Fic Challenge Site! See you there!!

Chestnut brown: I'm referring to Ryuichi's actual hair colour. I still think it's not green. It's CHESTNUT!

I got this from Gravi fanbook. Shuichi is 165cm tall and Ryuichi is 170cm tall. SWEET

Push this button??  
****

/


	2. Part 2 of 3

**TWO RYUICHI**** AND A KUMAGOROU  
**- Part 2 of 3 –

"ANIKI, YOU BASTARD!!! HOW DARE YOUUUUUUU?!!!"

The windows rattled at the force of the scream. A few metres away, an enraged Uesugi Tatsuha was screaming like a mad man. Shuichi could make out a few words like 'no', 'fucking cheater', 'my darling Ryuichi' and 'dirty wanker'. Definitely not the words a monk should utter. He could only watch as the teen tackled Yuki to the floor and shook his elder brother senseless. "Get off me, Tatsuha!!" "Shut up! Shut up! How dare you cheat on Shuichi? With MY Ryuichi, no less! Have you no shame, aniki? I thought you've changed, for God's sake! How could you?!"

Yuki pushed the now sobbing Tatsuha off of him and stood beside Shuichi. Darn! They were going to have to explain everything to Tatsuha. Otherwise, he would bawl and whine and yell to the next day and the day after the next day. How the hell did he get into their apartment, by the way??

Yuki plopped himself down onto the dark blue couch, silently cursing Tatsuha for ruining 'the mood'. He would have been doing something really, really nice with his Shu-chan if his brother did not barge in. "You knew, aniki, you KNEW! I've been crazy for Sakuma-sama for years. How could you do this to me? WAAAAHHH!!" Tatsuha sobbed and screamed at the same time, banging his hands repeatedly onto the poor floor. Both Yuki and Shuichi sweat-dropped. "This is too much, too damn much! Why, aniki, why???"

_何 も 言わずに 時 は 流れる__  
__やがて来る 朝 の 日差し に 溶ける ように 空に 消える__  
Nani mo iwazuni toki wa nagareru_

_Yagate__ kuru asa no hisashi ni tokeru youni sora ni kieru  
(Without saying a word, time flows on;_

_the__ sky is extinguished by the light of the morning that's coming soon, like it melts away.)_

Tatsuha stopped wailing and looked up at Shuichi, whom he thought was Ryuichi, with his tear-stricken face. The latter was singing Bad Luck's 'In the Moonlight', Shuichi's song for Yuki. '_Chotto__ matte…_' he thought, "_He sounds like Shuichi._' Yuki smirked as he watched the drama unfold itself.

_最後 の 夜 は どこにも なくて__  
__置き去り の オレ の 心 を 月 だけ が 今 も 見てる__  
Saigo no yoru wa doko ni mo nakute_

_Okizari__ no ore no kokoro o tsuki dake ga ima mo miteru  
(On that last night, no matter where it is,_

_Only the moon looks at my deserted heart even now.)_

"You…You sound like Shuichi…"

Shuichi rolled his eyes. "That's because I am Shuichi, you dolt!" Tatsuha just looked confused. "What…how…why…?" Shuichi resisted the urge the laugh out loud. "Sheesh, Tatsuha-kun. Your aniki is a famous novelist but his otouto couldn't even form a complete word? What a pity" Tatsuha glared and Yuki laughed. Apparently, Shuichi had been around him too much. "Right, now I know you're Shuichi. Only those who are close enough to Eiri gets away with insulting me and Ryuichi will never insult anyone…But…WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, LOOKING LIKE MY RYUICHI??!!"

"Shut up, sit down and listen. And he's not YOUR Ryuichi, thank you very much." Before Tatsuha could interject, Shuichi narrated the whole story to the teen who blinked and gaped and blinked and gaped some more. "So, this is the product of my 'Brother-In-Law from Hell'?" Shuichi nodded. The teen was silent for a moment. Yuki raised an eyebrow as Tatsuha stared at Shuichi from head to toe. "Shit, I can't find any flaw in your disguise. So, you're Shuichi, huh? This is like a dream come true!"

Shuichi blinked. "Huh?"

"SAKUMA-SAMA!!!" Tatsuha suddenly tackled Shuichi to the floor and proceeded to glomp the Ryuichi-look-alike senseless. "ARGHH! TASUKETEEEEEEEE!!" Yuki somehow knew this would happen. He kicked his brother off of Shuichi and dragged his lover into his bedroom. Before he closed the door behind him, he smirked at Tatsuha and spoke in fake politeness, "Sorry, little bro. This guy is mine no matter what or who he looks like. If you don't mind, I'd like to finish what we were doing before you interrupted."

BANG! The door slammed shut. A breathy moan followed a few seconds later.

Tatsuha sprung to his feet and knocked and banged the door with his fist endlessly. "Aniki!! Open the door! Let me join you, pleeeeease!!" A joined "WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER!" was heard from the inside before the moans continued. "WAAAAAAHH! Life is so unfair! I want Ryuichi!! Ryuichi! Ryuichi!"

Somewhere else…

"Achoo! Achoo! Achoo!" Ryuichi sneezed three times in a row and wiped his nose with the pink tissue on his nightstand. Tohma had hired a personal maid, a nurse and a doctor to look after him. "Someone is saying Ryuichi's name, na no da…" He whispered brokenly. Tohma, who was sitting in a chair beside his bed, sighed tiredly. "Millions of people say your name every one second, Ryuichi-san. You're just sick." Ryuichi pouted, looking like a small kid whose Mom refused to buy him the toy he wanted. "Ryuichi hates being sick! Ryuichi cannot sing when he is sick, no daa ---achoo!"

"Nee, Tohma…"

"Hai, Ryuichi-san?"

"Can you bring Shuichi here tomorrow? I want to see if he really looks like me. And I miss Kumagorou, na no da!"

"Sure, Ryuichi-san. Now, go to sleep. You need a lot of rest to recover."

"Yakusoku?"

"Hai, hai. Yakusoku yo."

As soon as Ryuichi fell asleep, Tohma called the maid and instructed her on how to take care of Ryuichi before taking his leave. He shuddered as he remembered the last time Ryuichi had fallen sick. He kept asking for his stuff bunny even when he was hugging it to his chest. Tohma's favourite coat had fallen victim to the singer's crayon and markers as Ryuichi mistook it for a large, black, 'shiny' paper. Noriko had had to redo her hair countless of time too. _Nah, let the poor maid handle him_, he thought.

The chirping of the birds indicated it was morning. Shuichi stole a glance at the clock on the nightstand. It was six o'clock in the morning, far too early for him to get up. Work didn't start until nine. Yuki had to meet his editor at eight. Shuichi felt the man behind him left the bed and went out of the room. Probably heading to the kitchen, the vocalist thought. A minute later, he heard footsteps coming back into the room and onto the bed. '_Well, that was fast._' Shuichi felt a pair of arms hugging him from behind and kissed his neck. He let out a contented sigh. Yuki could be very romantic at times. One of the hands started to caress his arm and his back. "Hmm, you're so soft, Ryuichi."

Shuichi revelled in the soft touch before something clicked in his mind. Had Yuki just called him Ryuichi? What the ---

"TATSUHAAAAA!!!!!"

Laughing, Tatsuha jumped off the bed and ran for his life. Shuichi started throwing things as he chased after the teen. "Come here, you depraved monk! I'll kill you!" They ran in circle around the apartment, neither noticing the amused look Yuki was giving them. He silently wished Shuichi luck in killing Tatsuha and sipped his steaming coffee, watching a nice, morning show. '_Yep, this is definitely better than any TV programme._'

Shuichi securely put Kumagorou on his head, singing 'na no na no na no da' as cheerfully as he could. He nodded good naturedly as the NG staff he passed by greeted him. He appeared happy on the outside but his inner side was a chaotic wave of emotion. '_Two days and a half left, Shuichi. Take a deep breath and stay calm. Remember, you're doing this for your God._'

Breathe in…

Breathe out…

Repeat the action thrice… Okay, done.

He opened the door to the studio where Tohma and Noriko were waiting for him. "Ohayou gozaimasu, na no da!" Noriko and Tohma greeted back. The female Grasper patted Shuichi on his back proudly. "You sound just like Ryu-chan, Shuichi. I'm so proud of you!" Shuichi took Kumagorou off his head and moved the bunny. "Kumagorou says Shuichi must do this for Sakuma-san's sake, na no da. Sakuma-san is Shuichi's God. Shuichi would do anything for him, na no da!" Flowers appeared behind Noriko. "Kami-sama! The plan is going to work. You're the best, Shuichi!!!"

Tohma nodded and smiled good-naturedly. "Your acting is fantastic, Shindou-san. If you don't mind me asking, how did things go with Eiri-san last night?" Shuichi reverted back to his original self and sighed.

"He freaked out at first but then he seemed to understand. The worst part is your younger brother-in-law, who appeared out of nowhere all of a sudden. He tried to molest me just because I look like Sakuma-san!!!" The last sentence was yelled directly into Tohma's right ear. The impact of the scream lasted for a minute, almost knocking Tohma off his feet. _Singer's lung of steel_, he thought as he rubbed his aching ear. It was a wonder that his eardrum was still intact. Noriko suddenly shoved a few sheets of paper into Shuichi's hand. "Enough talk. Let's get to business. Now, look here, Shuichi. This is what you're supposed to say during the interview."

'_Oh, joy! Now I have to memorize scripts too? I hope this ends soon._' The day was spent with Tohma and Noriko training him on how to handle an interview as Sakuma Ryuichi. They were oblivious to the fact that someone had installed a surveillance bug and a camera inside the studio.

Claude (or is it Crawd?) Winchester aka K laughed heartily as he looked at the computer screen. Shuichi looked as if he was going to explode any seconds. Hiro and Suguru were practically rolling on the floor with mirth while Sakano was praying, hoping the fiasco would end soon so that they could have their vocalist back. They were also taping the whole deal with glee. What a loyal and lovely circle of friends, eh? "This is priceless! I'm so keeping this tape for the rest of my life," said K, controlling his laughter. "Don't forget to give me a copy of it," Hiro butted in. Suguru also asked for a copy. They continued to laugh throughout the day.

Later that day, Tohma brought Shuichi to Ryuichi's apartment as requested by the older singer. Ryuichi was amazed at the sight of Shuichi. "Nee, Shu-chan… Are you sure we're not related?" He asked. Tohma had laughed _out-of-character-ly _at the question. That was before he began to wonder himself if the Shindous and the Sakumas were somehow related.

A few hours later, a very exhausted Shuichi went home to the apartment he shared with his lover. "Tadaima…" His voice was so low and tired. Yuki was nowhere to be seen. Shuichi saw a short note in Yuki's handwriting attached to the fridge. It said:

_Shuichi,  
Kuso-gaki,_

_I'll be back before 9 p.m. There's something in the fridge in case you haven't had dinner yet._

_Good luck and try not to break too many things.  
---- Yuki ---- _

Shuichi smiled at the note. Yuki had crossed out his name before writing 'kuso-gaki'. He squealed happily. Yuki could really be romantic sometimes but still… What's with the 'good luck' thing? Before he had the time to contemplate further, a pair of arms snaked around his waist. "Ryuichi honey! I miss you sooo much!"

"Gyah! Let go of me, Tatsuha!" Shuichi squirmed violently to free himself from Tatsuha's arms. The teen, however, did not cooperate. "Aw, I never knew you're such a feisty little honey, Ryu-chan! Don't be shy, koishii," Tatsuha tightened his hold around Shuichi's waist. "For kami-sama's sake, let go of me, Tatsuha! Somebody help meeeeee!!" So, that was what 'good luck' meant…

These events repeated themselves the next day and with a blink of an eye, it was already the day of the interview!

- To Be Continued in Part 3 -

Yay! One more chapter and it's done Tell me what you think about this one, please! Until later!

And don't forget to check my Gravitation fan fiction challenges at:

**http:gravity . predilection . org**


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